6 Tips to Get Through Hard Times

Hard times hit us all. Of course, it is life’s ebb and flow. Days may turn into seasons that feel as if there is no happy ending in sight any time soon. As things start to look up, another shoe drops. We wonder if this is what our life looks like now. Our bodies ache, and our life force—our breath—constricts. The heaviness drags behind us, hanging from our necks, making every motion impossible and burdensome—our light and beautiful essences as people wave the white flag to survival mode. The unknown of what will come the next day is hard to get into bed with.

I’m no stranger to hard times, but what is true about them all is that if you have the willingness to rise above victimhood, to grieve at the same time that you hold onto gratitude, to ask for help, to mend yourself back together, learn from this hardship, and hold steadfast to the belief that things will always work out and that there is always a way through. The long and dark season will end, but it starts with you and your unwavering faith. As you change your perspective and reach to overcome whatever you are going through, I have six things that helped me make my way through the darkest, most challenging time of my life that I would like to share with you. Remember that you are not alone and can make it through this.

1. Homecooked meals.

The aromas and warmth of a homecooked meal are healing. The process of chopping and sizzling sounds brings you to the present moment and gets you out of your head. I would make meals that felt like anchors and love in our family: wild rice soup, stir-fries, or spicy rigatoni. It was also nice to try new cookbook recipes because they added soulfulness, discovery, and excitement to my day, and I needed that badly. I recall also making a point to serve things on prettier serving dishes; the presentation represented a way of making it unique and for us to feel extra cared for. Every meal grounded us, restored us, and felt like the glue that held our life together. If money is tight right now, I suggest looking up budget-friendly meals or other resources your community offers. Food is powerful.

2. Keep up your good habits.

Keeping up with good habits is extremely difficult when everything in your life feels like it is falling apart, but it will give you the endurance to see yourself through. Of course, there were days when I needed to cry or lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. Although, I would try to keep those days to a minimum and turn to my good habits as much as possible. I went on walks or got in a stress-busting workout, meditated, got extra rest when my body needed it, ate nourishing foods, prayed, journaled, or read books, especially ones to help me through what I was struggling with.

3. Laugh a lot!

I remember one day in particular that was tough, and I felt emotionally destroyed. I happened to turn on the TV to SNL, and a skit made me laugh so hard that I had the silent laugh you get; tears were coming out of my eyes, and my stomach was clenched so hard from laughing my ass off. I took a deep breath, paused briefly, and got curious. I hadn’t laughed like that in a long time. It felt so damn good. From that day on, I purposely looked to find something to laugh that hard at every day. Laughter eased my body's tension and brought my soul back into an essence of lightness.

4. Get into a different environment.

You don't need to hop on a plane, use all your PTO, and spend a fortune to enter a different environment. However, I will not discourage you from visiting Paris, Italy, or any other fantastic place if you need to. Nonetheless, getting in a different environment could mean walking outside on a different walking path or listening to a different podcast that gives you a new insight. It could mean bringing yourself to a new town, grabbing a coffee and talking to people you've never met and learning something from them, or bringing something new into your house, like a knickknack that inspires you and gives hope for a new season every time you pass it. Anything that gets you out of your current state of being and living that shakes you up will not only help you get a break from your reality for a few moments but may lead you to something that will help you make a breakthrough in your reality.

5. Take action.

You can either wallow in self-pity, as the Grinch would say, or take action. What are you avoiding that would help your situation? You may be afraid of looking stupid, asking for help, or not knowing where to look for resources, but it will never get any better if you don't do anything about it. The time it may take may seem daunting, or the hole that you are in is too deep to dig your way out. Your list of how to overcome the obstacles you face might be a mile-long. How can you break it down? Focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time. Don't listen to the drama in your head telling you why you can't take the action.

6. Nourish yourself like you are sick.

Okay, hear me out; I know this sounds weird! I adapted this idea from Shauna Niequist, the author of I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet, and several other excellent books. She explains the nourishment we give ourselves when pregnant and how we need that level of care when going through a hard time. For those who haven't ever been pregnant, I thought the best alternative to explain this would be what we do when we are sick. When ill, I eat warm soups, warm butter toast, fresh fruit, drink tea and ginger ale, wear my coziest clothes, wrap myself in soft blankets, listen to my body, take a hot bath, and rest. When we are going through a hard time, it quite frankly feels like we are sick with the weight of our bodies, the negativity in our minds, and the emotions that cause us to feel flushed and hot, just like a fever. Nurse your mind, body, and soul with things that will make you feel rested, warm, and nurtured.